Hopes & Fears asked a biologist, psychologist, and sexuality expert to figure out if humans are hardwired to just be with one person at a time. Finally, the term genetic monogamy is used when DNA analyses can confirm that a female-male pair reproduce exclusively with each other. She says "it seems more natural for humans to want a personal harem, so each of us get to enjoy sexual variety, but insist on sexual exclusivity for our lovers, so we don't have to deal with jealousy. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Once a monogamous primate father starts to stick around, he has the opportunity to raise the odds that his offspring will survive. All rights reserved. Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. He says that having one partner at a time isn't monogamy, it actually fits into the category of serial polygyny. It’s all well and good to understand why the gray-handed night monkey became monogamous. From what they found, they concluded that hominids 4.4 million years ago mated with many females. Researchers point out that this probably isn’t the only reason we shifted toward a more monogamous society, since female choice also played a role, but it was a big contributor. Only 17 percent of human cultures are strictly monogamous. Our lineage never evolved to be strictly monogamous. By about 3.5 million years ago, however, the finger-length ratio indicated that hominids had shifted more toward monogamy. Also, DNA studies of male to female breeding ratios … ", Dossie Easton, a psychotherapist and relationship counselor, told Hopes & Fears the she believes a lot of institutions profit by controlling the population towards monogamy by instilling lots of guilt and shame. But are humans meant to be monogamous? Humans are now mostly monogamous, but this has been the norm for just the past 1,000 years. The article Romance Is Dead: This Is the Real Reason Why Humans Are Monogamous originally ran on WomensHealthMag.com. Elisabeth Sheff, Ph.D. and author of The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families says that because monogamy takes so many social structures to exist, it can't really be naturally occurring and inherent, like blinking, breathing, or wanting to speak to our children. To combat infertility, men began to choose only one mate. Though about 90 percent of Americans think cheating is morally wrong, 70 percent have thought of doing it and 40 percent have actually done it. “The human mating system is extremely flexible,” Bernard Chapais of the University of Montreal wrote in a recent review in Evolutionary Anthropology. In humans, social monogamy equals monogamous marriage. Of course, while monogamy works for a lot of people it also opens up doors to cheating and infidelity, both of which wouldn't necessarily affect non monogamous societies in the same way. Here's what five experts have to say: Christopher Ryan, Ph.D. and author of Sex at Dawn: How we Mate, Why we Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships adamantly tells Hopes & Fears that no, humans did not evolve to be a sexually monogamous species, which is evidenced by the fact that we rarely only have one sexual partner for our entire life. Bland characters such as the human penis are usually found in monogamous animal species. The extra supply of protein and calories that human children started to receive is widely considered a watershed moment in our evolution. They live in large groups where the females mate with lots of males when they’re ovulating. While we in the U.S. hold monogamy as the norm, it isn't necessarily that way in the rest of the world, starting with the Animal Kingdom where monogamy is actually very rare. Diversity is good, and we should all be able to love freely. In a new study, Dr. Lukas and his colleague Tim Clutton-Brock suggest that monogamy evolves when females spread out, making it hard for a male to travel around and fend off competing males.